Eleventh Sunday after Pentecost Proper 15
August 16, 2009
Text: Ephesians 5:15-20
Today is the fourth sermon in our five-week series on Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. Our Second Readings have given us the opportunity to study this book of the New Testament as a whole. There is a difficulty, however, with trying to read a whole book within a set period of weeks. Some verses must be skipped over at the expense of others. This is what happened with our Second Reading this morning.
Our Second Reading assigned for today is chapter 5 of Ephesians, verses 15-20. Paul states the theme of these verses in verses 18-20: “Be filled with the Holy Spirit, … giving thanks to God the Father at all times for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Paul’s exhortation is that we are to be joyful in the Lord, to worship together as the household of God with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, and to remember with thanksgiving all the spiritual blessings with which God has blessed us in Christ Jesus, His Son, and our Lord.
Our reading does not include verses 21 through 33 of this fifth chapter. Verse 21 reads, “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Then in the next 13 verses Paul addresses husbands and wives on the subject of marriage. This particular text, Ephesians 5:21-33 is a suggested text for weddings. However, most couples shy away from it because of these words, “Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church.”
I do not remember the last time I read this text at a wedding. Couples do not understand what it means to be subject to some one out of reverence for Christ. Since these words about marriage are generally misunderstood, I thought it would be better for us to consider them, than those of our second reading this morning.
To understand Paul’s teaching on marriage, we must focus, first of all, on the fact that in Paul’s day, which is the first century, women did not have the rights and privileges women have today. They were considered to be subordinate to men. Women of the first century did not work outside the home; they did not hold public office; they did not vote and they did not even eat with the men. Paul also accepted the Jewish teaching of his day that since Eve was created from Adam, the divine order of life was that man was of a higher order than woman. So when Paul writes that the husband is the head of the wife, he was stating what the thinking and the practice were in those days.
In our day, women have rights and privileges that the women of the first century would have considered science fiction. In most marriages today, the husband is not the head of the wife, rather there is equality in the relationship. This equality of man and woman is also Biblical. In Genesis, there is a stated equality between man and woman in the phrases, “male and female God created them,” and “they become one flesh.” In his letter to the Galatians, Paul also affirms this equality when he writes, “There is no longer male or female, for all are one in Christ Jesus.”
So then, how do we, who accept the equality between husbands and wives, understand Paul’s begging us to lead marriages that are worthy of our calling of being subject to one another?
The key to our understanding is a verse from our second reading last Sunday, chapter 5, verse 1. Paul writes, “Be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us, and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Paul is saying that as Christ subjected himself to us, so we are to subject ourselves to one another.
The wedding text that most couples want read is from the gospel of John, the fifteenth chapter. Jesus says, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” The love commanded of us is a love that subjects ourselves to one another. We are to give of ourselves that others can be all that God intends them to be. The giving of ourselves is blind to distinctions. We are to give of ourselves to others whether they are black or Hispanic, gay or straight, rich or poor, right or wrong, male or female, husband or wife.
Harry N. Wendt, a Lutheran pastor in Australia and a publisher of Bible study materials, suggests that the marriage vows should be changed from the words, “Will you take this woman/man to be your lawful wedded wife/husband … to these words, “Will you give yourself to this woman to serve her as her husband. Will you give yourself to this man to serve him as his wife?” Dr. Wendt goes on to say, “People would begin to understand that we do not marry to get a spouse, but to give ourselves to a spouse. We marry to serve our special friend to have fullness of life. We marry to help our special friend become what God intends that person to become, even as our special friend helps us to become what God intends us to become.”
Husbands are to subject themselves to their wives out of divine respect for the love Christ has given them. Wives are to subject themselves to their husbands out of the same divine respect for Christ’s love. Each of us is to give of ourselves so that whether it is our husband or our wife, or anyone else, we may serve them, helping them in all things to become the son or daughter God intends them to be. Being husbands and wives, our roles are those of submitting ourselves to our spouses, voluntarily giving ourselves up on their behalf – for the sake of their physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.
We are to give of ourselves so that our spouses can be forgiven when they fail; they can be comforted when they are troubled; they can be supported when they try new endeavors; they can be made well when they are ill; they can be strengthened when they are weak; they can be made whole when they are broken, and they can be assured that there is always the hope and promise of new life to come. We are to give our spouses the love and the freedom they need to grow in God’s grace, encouraging them toward the goal of being all that God intends them to be.
Whether we are a husband or a wife, God has called us to lead a life in which we subject ourselves in love toward our spouses that we may serve them with the love of Jesus Christ our Lord. As Jesus was a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God on our behalf, so wives and husband are to be a fragrant offering and sacrifice to each other.
“Be subject to one another,” is not a command we can ignore as being from a different century. Subjection in love is the way Christ chose to serve us. It is the way His followers are expected to serve one another. St. Paul is begging us to live in love toward our husbands and our wives that being a fragrant offering of sacrifice to them, they may become all that God intends them to be.